Thursday, May 31, 2012

Thankful item #2 The next generation!

When I met my husband he was already an uncle - his niece who was a year old at the time had him wrapped around her little fingers.  It made me all mushy for him - seriously - my man with babies = mush!   The bro in laws and sister in laws continued to make babies for me to love and I now have 2 nieces and 3 nephews.

They are such fun!  When they were younger they barfed in my car, pooped on me, and taught me patience.  I have seen many baseball/soccer games, band concerts, and even a few parades featuring one or more of these (not so)little(anymore) gems.  I played barbie, blew bubbles, snuck them candies, and traumatized a few by taking them to see Monster Inc.

They are children that aren't mine but I would still die for them.  When they hurt, I hurt, when they laugh I laugh.  My children think they are the coolest people ever!  The level of excitement when I announce we are seeing them is unmeasurable.  The screams can be heard all over the neighbourhood!  

They are all getting to be teenagers - my niece went to prom last week - gah!  How can she be old enough to go to a prom???  Didn't we just go to Disney on Ice???  One nephew shaved his bieber-esque hair off to raise money for kids with cancer.  They are kind, considerate and hard working kids.  So I obviously did not infect them with my sarcasm too much.  

My nephews favourite pass time is reminding me that I am shorter than them!  They put their chins on the top of my head to rub it in!  I tease them about wearing too much cologne and am just glad that they still let me hug them.  I am no shorty - I am taller than the average female - but I married into a family of freakishly tall men - so almost all the kids are taller than me(not sure if the one niece is still shorter - she may have eaten her Wheaties and shot up a few more inches).  

I love them.  Just as they are.  And I am so thankful that I have them in my life. 

Friday, May 25, 2012

Thankful - Item #1 Sista Marcy

#1  My sister Marcy(not her real name)

My sister is like a really great push up bra!  No - she really is!  She makes me look better :)  Like a good bra she holds you up.  Got a problem - she'll give great advice(she doing her master in counseling - free therapy - woot woot!)  She also does it while looking good - she is a funky pink bra - with fringe(picture my eyebrows going up and down as I say that!)  

If someone is mean to me - watch out because she's coming at you and will punch you in the neck!  You'll be left gasping for air on the sidewalk from the lashing you receive if you make me cry - if you are lucky she only pictures the knee to the groin on her mind.  Of course I would do the same for her.  Mess with the sister-hood and you'll be crying for your mama!

She loves my babies and treats my hubby like the brother we never had - right down to making fun of his weirdo toes.  She has a quick sense of humour and may be a wee bit sarcastic like her big sis!  She grew up in the same crazy family as me - so we both think it is completely normal to build your own hot tub that you heat by lighting a fire underneath, or that smores are better when you melt the chocolate on the cracker first!

She is the only one I want to ride a run away tractor with - and then giggle hysterically that we almost died. Or as it happened - she rode the tractor and I took pictures till it became clear it had no breaks.  Then we all retired to cranberry and Smirnoff after she almost hit her car and a tree.

Love you my sister! xoxo

PS : Have I mentioned she's single???  She's going to kill me for writing that :) 

**These items are in no particular order - so no need to get all up in my face because I write about my sister before my other family members or Jesus Juke me about where on the list God is.  Chill.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012


I am less than a month from turning 35 or 29 again, again, again, again, again, and again!  Besides the fact that parts are sliding downhill(and fast!) and the hair on my head is requiring maintenance to keep it's colour what do I have to show for it?

Quite a lot actually.  So I want to come up with 35 things I am thankful for - before the big day!  Some are big and meaningful (my family) and some will be trivial but fun(hello - chocolate!)

I feel that many people spend most of their time snarking off at people and about things rather than embracing and loving what they have.  Or perhaps we spend too much time thinking about the crappy things that happen rather than focusing on the happy, good, and joyful.

It could be the aging process that makes me reflect and think like this.  I am loving getting older - not the deep crevasse emerging on my forehead or the sagging tush but I do love the perspective and maturity it affords me.  Now some of that maturity comes hard fought and I can't say that I enjoyed earning it but having it as a life lesson is a blessing.

Before you think I've lost my personality - fear not!  I still think farts are funny, I laugh at rude jokes and say way too many inappropriate things to ever be considered truly mature or adult like.  I would still rather watch a sappy romantic comedy than a sweeping saga of breath taking cinema and given the choice between a fancy kangaroo burger and a big mac - the big mac would win every.freakin.time!

Join me in being thankful!

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Orange you glad I posted!

Super lame title - what's more lame?  I laughed at myself when I typed it.  Yeah.  I am that idiotic!

While on the H&M shop the BFF and we noticed the big spring trend - Orange!  Everything was orange, peach, coral or some combination of those.  It was everywhere.

The BFF looks great in peachy/orange tones.  I remarked that while I generally don't ask my man for fashion advice he didn't like me to wear orange.  He doesn't give a flying squirrel most the time about what I wear but since his only complaint ever was about the colour orange I don't own anything orange.  The BFF gave me a look that said, "What????"  It's not unusual for people to think that hubby never gets an opinion as I am loud - but don't fear - he tells me his opinion on a regular basis, and once 15 years ago he frowned upon orange.  He also once pointed out back fat...not that I remind him of that on a regular basis or anything.

There was a really cute orange sweater though.  I announced with bravado - I am going to try this sweater on.  It is cute, and will make me look great.  I could sense the greatness this orange sweater was going to bring me.  Who cares if hubs hates me in orange - what could he possibly know??

I pulled on the sweater and went to the mirror.  The BFF gave me a "Ugh" look.  Darn it!  The colour looked awful on me.  My complexion looked gray and sallow.  It was U-G-L-Y.  Bugger.  The BFF kindly told me that the sweater while great in shape looked hideous in that colour - at least on me.  All this time I thought hubs had an issue with the colour orange - turns out he noticed I looked like death when I wore it. Apparently he does know something about fashion.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Power Shop!

After the panic over my outdated and no longer age appropriate maternity clothes I grabbed the BFF and we hauled a car seat free car to downtown Van! I power shopped through H&M like a maniac.    So the late winter/early spring wardrobe was complete.  Alas spring and summer were around the corner.

Yesterday I squeezed my ever widening hips into an old pair of capri's - Did you know you can still get a muffin top when pregnant???  Yeah me either!  It was B-A-D!  Dropped my daughter at preschool and made an beeline for the local maternity shop.  I had limited time - but the shopper gene is strong in my family.  I came.  I conquered.  I torn through that store on a rampage.

There seems to be a concept that pregnant women want to wear clothing that is 'sweet'.  Bows around our necks, eyelets on the sleeves, lace to cover the ever expanding ta-tas.  I don't wear lavender lace tops when not pregnant and you won't find me wearing one when knocked up either.  Perhaps some women get soft and demure when with child unlike moi!  I am a sarcastic person on a good day let alone a nausea puffer fish pregnant day. Soft pretty blue florals make me want to hurl - which without my diclectin could happen at any moment.  The other big trend - maxi dresses.  Yuck!  These are the most hideous things ever to be made unless you are a size 2.  When you drape a pregnant woman in a large dress you get a tent.  A hovering tent with a head attached.  It is awful.  They look awful - and sorry ladies but you look as huge as a house in them.  Make it in soft purple and add a cute bow to divide boobs from belly - you have the maternity trifecta - pastel, bow, and tent like.  Gah!

After I hissed like something out of a horror movie at a maxi dress the sale clerk threw some holy water at me and left me to my try-on session.  25 minutes after I stormed through the doors on a mission, I was marching out with a bag full of items that were not lilac, adorned with bows, or covered in lace.  Happy day!