Wednesday, November 28, 2012

And then I cried...

November has stunk!  Like a big ole fart! Stunk like a skunk! Are you picking up what I am putting down???

Really I should be drugged up and in a padded room - the stress in my pudgy body is insane!

19 days(nights) ago I woke up to feed baby B and had insanely itchy hands and feet.  It was not gone the next morning. The next day I went to the walk in clinic to make sure I wasn't contagious. While getting out of the car at the clinic I pulled my quad muscle.  I mean puuuuuuuuuulled that bad boy!  I may have said a bad word.  In public.  Thankfully the kids were not present to learn a new word.

I was told to take an anti-histamine for the itch and some anti inflammatory gel for the leg.  Then I sat on the couch with a corn ice pack.  Two days later at boot camp I did only upper body work - because the leg was dead.  I went to get up off my mat after some ab work and pulled the other quad. Whuck! I probably should have stayed home for that week - but that schmidt is expensive.  There is no refund for fat girls who over do it and injure themselves - not that I asked(stupid me!)  I also am a goober and suck at admitting I need help or I can't do something.

Cue to today.  I am still covered in what I have now discovered are hives.  I have seen 3 doctors and taken a trip to the ER when they were in the back of my throat.  The drugs are doing nothing but making me so stoned I don't hear my baby cry at night.  So since lying on the couch isn't an option for days on end I am sober and itchy.  FOR 19 DAYS STRAIGHT!!!!  If there was a floor made of sandpaper I would roll around on it.  You would hear me groaning in pure joy to itch these nasty spots.

The hives attack at different times of day and on different parts of the body. I have had parts of my face numb, puffy lips, a swollen eye, feet so swollen I can't walk on them, and then just the general loveliness of being covered in red itchy spots.  I have cold showers and then make sure to only lightly touch my skin with a towel to get off the big water drops - no rubbing.  I have said goodbye to my beloved cup of coffee and as much sugar as I can - processed and naturally occurring.  I miss apples and coffee in an insane way.  I have dreams of drinking a latte.  It's mental!

I don't wear socks around the house so my feet stay somewhere in the range of frigid  I avoid sitting on the couch because the warmth of being cocooned in the cushions gives me hives on the tush(nothing is sacred!!!)  I am cold as I don't wear a sweater till I shiver because if I am warm I have more hives.  In the evenings I sit with ice packs on my feet, around my neck and on my arms and legs - the ice helps keep the swelling and outbreaks to a minimum. I stopped drinking warm drinks because it made my throat itch.  It is November and instead of being snug as a bug under a blanket sipping tea I am freezing my fanny off.

Yet I have dragged myself to bootcamp - at least once a week the feet are too swollen to walk so I have only made it 2 times a week the last 2 weeks.  I have worked around my buggered up quads(which are doing quite well).  I have gone with no make-up and fuzzy Texas bangs that look (gasp) cute!  I have enjoyed it - and on Monday I did a push up.  It was pathetic really but for the first time ever in my life I was able to do one push up while on my toes rather my knees - small victories people!  Small victories! It was only one.  My arms shook like mad and I didn't get all the way down - but it was one push up.

Last night baby B was up a lot.  I got 3.5 hours of sleep in total.  It's a full moon.  J-man had a very big appointment with a doctor(more about that later), J's had lots of behaviour issues at school - 6 school write ups in the last 2 weeks alone.  Miss G is feeling the effects of having a high needs brother, a new sister, a busy family business, and now a sick mama - and the attitude is pretty spectacular.  I was fragile to say the least.  But I pressed on.  I put on my yoga pants and shoes that hurt because my feet were swollen.  I did my first real push up...like ever, on Monday.  I wanted to do more even if I felt like donkey poo!

So I got to bootcamp.  I was feeling like crap.  I sucked at pretty much everything.  My feet hurt too much to wear shoes so I took them off.  I had no energy and could barely hold a plank.  Every muscle kept cramping.  Basically - the body was shot to heck.  The instructor came to check on me - I imagine because I looked like a nut - no shoes and stopping so much.  And that broke the damn.

I couldn't stop.  I burst into tears.  Right there in the middle of bootcamp on my freaking yoga mat.  Surrounded by women I don't know - and now must think I am a complete loon!  Ever tried to do a push up with snot and tears rolling down your face?  I was embarrassed beyond belief yet there was no way I could stop.  I would stop the flood of tears only to go on to mountain climbers with the evil bosu ball - and next thing I knew I was crying like a blubbery baby again.  I sobbed my way through the plank, sit ups and finally just gave in and sat down.  My lovely instructor came and talked with me - they really do have the nicest instructors.  I did the cool down stretches and then bolted as fast as my wobbly 'I did squats today' legs would carry me.  Got to my ubber sexy mom van and thought now I can cry and no one can see - and the well was dry.  What the heck????

Got home, did the mom thing, saw a specialist for my boy, felt physically exhausted and spent.  Ordered pizza - and didn't feel one bit guilty(I didn't blow my calorie amount for the day but no one would call Thai chicken pizza a health food).  Realized that we were about to run out of milk.  Whuck!  Did a quick meal plan and headed to Safeway.  I was the only shopper with a cart.  I wandered the aisles and soaked up the silence.  It was like the spa - only the cucumber was in the cart not on my puffy eyes.

Now I just dumped all this into a post - a brain dump if you will.  I am itchy, teary and drinking luke warm tea.  It's gotta get better right?  Eventually I will get sleep.  Soon I will not be ready to crawl out of my skin.  My big kids will chill out.  The referrals for my son will come through.  And I will be one skinny cut babe...or at least able to do 2 push ups.  Right?

**Tomorrow I will be sane again.  I won't cry.  Tomorrow I will deal with immunizations for the baby, and calling the school about my son.  I will make dinner.  I may even fold the towels that are sitting in the dryer for the last day and a half. Today sucked.  Tomorrow will be better.  If not - tomorrow will have wine. A lot of wine - calories be damned!

Sunday, November 4, 2012

I like big butts...

It is time.  Time to get my prebaby body back...as in prebabies - the one I had in my 20's.  How do I know this?

Well - I have gotten on the scale - I may have said a bad word at the numbers. I also see the number that states the size of my clothes - and bugger it - it's a teenager! But what really tells me it's time...my oldest daughter. 

Tonight I may have been dancing across the kitchen floor, while singing a little LMFAO.  Because I am sexy, and yes I know it.  I also may have been bringing left over ice cream cake in from the freezer for dessert.  Middle child G starts to giggle at my dancing and exclaims as only she can, "Mom you have a big bum!"

I believe that made me stop mid booty shuffle to stare at her with a 'Huh?' expression.  Hubby snorts and is suddenly very interested in his dinner.  My eldest chimes in with, "Your bum is HUGE mom!" The hubs can no longer hold it in and barks out a laugh.  Then the little angels wanting to be fair, tell Daddy he has an equally big and huge bum.  The conversation went down hill from there with lots of bum talk and giggles.

It made me really glad that I am going to boot camp tomorrow morning - even if I am pretty sure it is going to kill me.  If you don't hear from me tomorrow it's because I am dead, in the middle of the park, probably because I did one too many burpies.

The halloween stash of one child - the twizzlers are as good as gone.  Delish!

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Laundry

Okay mama's of many - how on earth do you keep up with laundry?

I am trying but holy dryer balls it is a near impossible dream.

It was manageable with 4 people and a dog but for some reason the addition of a 6 lb baby threw it all to heck.  I don't know if it is the amount of clothes from blown out diapers, spit clothes, upchuck on mama clothes, but whatever the reason if the machines aren't running they should be.

I used to do laundry whenever I noticed the baskets get full...they are always full now my friends.  I literally can take a basket downstairs and put the clothes in the washer, return upstairs and the spot where the basket was, is now a heap of dirty clothes.

It s like they wait around the corner for me to move the basket and then:

Dirty sock:  Haha, mama EJ just took down the dark wash.  Alert the track pants and dirty undies.
Soiled hand towel : Ay Ay skipper...ALERT ALERT LAUNDRY IS MOVING.
Track Pants rolling on over:  Duuuuuuuudes she took the basket down stairs????
Soiled hand towel : YES!  PREPARE TO PILE!
Track Pants: Duuuuuuuuude I just woke up, stop the yelling.
Dirty undies: HEY CRAZY CLOTHES!  What's up?  I just saw the most, like amazing headband behind the dresser.  It was like, so amazing.  So cray!
Track pants : Kill me now...get the bleach!
Dirty sock: ENOUGH!  The basket has moved, man your stations, alert your fellow clothes.  We must pile. PILE PILE PILE

Of course the laundry may be the least of my problems if I believe that dirty laundry lies in wait for me.

Friday, November 2, 2012

Because we just can't have nice things...

Now that we have three little blessings destroying our home and sleep we have had to upgrade(downgrade???) to a minivan.  Our new symbol of domestic bliss was blessed with being detailed on Monday.  My in-laws gifted us a full package detailing - as in every inch of that soon to be gold fish cracker and apple juice infested palace was washed and shined.  It was still a 10+ year old van but at least it was sparkly and clean.  As an added bonus I didn't have to pay - woot!

Being the epic super mom that I am, I volunteered to go on a field trip to the Apple Barn with a few bazillion kids.  WHY DO I DO THIS??? So I left early to drop the new babe off at Grandma's house, then drove myself on over to the farm!  I should mention it was POURING rain, as in - get some wood and start building an ark.  I pull in and immediately start to feel a little trepidation.  The parking lot is packed and muddy.  I am used to driving a civic not a tank - how am I going to squeeze my mom-mobile into a parking spot?  I end up smack dab in the middle of the lot doing the forward, backward dance to turn around.  Hello embarrassment - "No mom with the cute SUV I can't park worth a darn - move along!" I holler at another mother from school.  I am always gracious when under pressure.  

I spot a parking spot and am waved over to it by a drenched employee in a red sweatshirt.  I can't get in quite straight so I dare to try and reverse.  Nothing good happens!  As in I don't go backwards - I go sideways down the incline towards the little red car next to me.  "$^%((#&$#$)" is uttered under my breath and I am really glad none of the kids are in the van.  

Calming breaths.  It will be okay.  Calming breaths.  I will just go find J's class and learn about apples.  Hopefully the parking lot will be empty by the time we're done and I can slide all the way out of the lot. I pull on my gumboots and text the hubby to tell him "I think the van is stuck in the muddy parking lot!"Hubby is in bed with an epic man cold so due to being drugged up he takes the news well.

We see bunnies and learn about apples.  We get our pants wet sitting on hay bales as we ride out to pick pumpkins.  Finally it is lunch time for the students.  I decide to check on my van. Not a car anywhere near it - I do a little air guitar to celebrate.  (Party on Wayne, Party on Garth)

It hits me - I am in crazy muddy boots - the floor mats aren't even back in the van yet as they were still drying - I am going to get mud on and in the van - shiitake mushrooms!  The ground is too muddy and wet to wear my other shoes - I will have to get the van a bit dirty.  I then see that my wheels look like they have sunk a little bit into the mud - more mushrooms!!!!  I decide I am seeing things and I will just get in and move the van.  Muddy boots and all!

I try going backwards - no dice.  No slide sideways, no movement other than mud flinging up off the tires.  I decide I'll take out the parking barrier(tape and little post) by going forward.  Nope.  No forward motion either.  I try to rock the van forward and back - hoping I am not spinning the tires.  Nothing works.  I am stuck in the mud - IN A MINIVAN!  Say it with me - EJ, you are screwed! Mud is all over the wheels, wheel wells, and even up on the doors.  I am sooo screwed.  This is why the other mom's drive SUV's with big tires.

I climb out of the van, take a few calming breaths and then realize - I am on a farm.  Farms have men and tractors.  Between those two things somebody will get my van unstuck.  I march over to the little store - announce my van is stuck and I will need help.  I even smile - always start out nice!!  The girl looks at me and replies - "Oh...that is a blue job"

Darn right it's a blue job - "I need a man - I'll even let him drive the van if needed"  I thought I'd throw in that perk in case there was a man that needed a little thrill.  A fellow mom gasped at my predicament as I waited for a man.  I calmly explained - "No worries, it's a blue job.  They are finding me a man to fix the problem."

So much being all women's lib!  When my van is stuck in the mud I want a man to come get it out.  What can I say?  Sometimes there are blue jobs and pink and sometimes you take your clean van and get it stuck in a mud pit.  That is why we just can't have nice things!

Thursday, November 1, 2012

She's here

She's here and she's perfect.  

Baby B arrived a little ahead of schedule but perfect in every way   We are sleep deprived and trying to remember what to do with an infant.  



Her birth story is rather short.  Every mother out there will not be very pleased with me when I say I had contractions for most of the day but went about my day.  I went to Safeway, took the kids to the park, and hung out with my mom.  I would pause for the contractions and then keep going.  I freaked the cashier at Safeway right out.  I went to the doctor around 4:30 - she told me to get to the hospital immediately   I went in at 5:30 and was told I did not act like a woman 8cm dilated and if my doctor hadn't phoned ahead I would have been made to wait in the hall.  At 6:09 my water broke and the contraction from H-E-double hockey sticks hit - 3 minutes later she was here and I was really glad that I could exclaim that I was no longer pregnant!

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Thankful item #2 The next generation!

When I met my husband he was already an uncle - his niece who was a year old at the time had him wrapped around her little fingers.  It made me all mushy for him - seriously - my man with babies = mush!   The bro in laws and sister in laws continued to make babies for me to love and I now have 2 nieces and 3 nephews.

They are such fun!  When they were younger they barfed in my car, pooped on me, and taught me patience.  I have seen many baseball/soccer games, band concerts, and even a few parades featuring one or more of these (not so)little(anymore) gems.  I played barbie, blew bubbles, snuck them candies, and traumatized a few by taking them to see Monster Inc.

They are children that aren't mine but I would still die for them.  When they hurt, I hurt, when they laugh I laugh.  My children think they are the coolest people ever!  The level of excitement when I announce we are seeing them is unmeasurable.  The screams can be heard all over the neighbourhood!  

They are all getting to be teenagers - my niece went to prom last week - gah!  How can she be old enough to go to a prom???  Didn't we just go to Disney on Ice???  One nephew shaved his bieber-esque hair off to raise money for kids with cancer.  They are kind, considerate and hard working kids.  So I obviously did not infect them with my sarcasm too much.  

My nephews favourite pass time is reminding me that I am shorter than them!  They put their chins on the top of my head to rub it in!  I tease them about wearing too much cologne and am just glad that they still let me hug them.  I am no shorty - I am taller than the average female - but I married into a family of freakishly tall men - so almost all the kids are taller than me(not sure if the one niece is still shorter - she may have eaten her Wheaties and shot up a few more inches).  

I love them.  Just as they are.  And I am so thankful that I have them in my life. 

Friday, May 25, 2012

Thankful - Item #1 Sista Marcy

#1  My sister Marcy(not her real name)

My sister is like a really great push up bra!  No - she really is!  She makes me look better :)  Like a good bra she holds you up.  Got a problem - she'll give great advice(she doing her master in counseling - free therapy - woot woot!)  She also does it while looking good - she is a funky pink bra - with fringe(picture my eyebrows going up and down as I say that!)  

If someone is mean to me - watch out because she's coming at you and will punch you in the neck!  You'll be left gasping for air on the sidewalk from the lashing you receive if you make me cry - if you are lucky she only pictures the knee to the groin on her mind.  Of course I would do the same for her.  Mess with the sister-hood and you'll be crying for your mama!

She loves my babies and treats my hubby like the brother we never had - right down to making fun of his weirdo toes.  She has a quick sense of humour and may be a wee bit sarcastic like her big sis!  She grew up in the same crazy family as me - so we both think it is completely normal to build your own hot tub that you heat by lighting a fire underneath, or that smores are better when you melt the chocolate on the cracker first!

She is the only one I want to ride a run away tractor with - and then giggle hysterically that we almost died. Or as it happened - she rode the tractor and I took pictures till it became clear it had no breaks.  Then we all retired to cranberry and Smirnoff after she almost hit her car and a tree.

Love you my sister! xoxo

PS : Have I mentioned she's single???  She's going to kill me for writing that :) 

**These items are in no particular order - so no need to get all up in my face because I write about my sister before my other family members or Jesus Juke me about where on the list God is.  Chill.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Thank-fulllll

I am less than a month from turning 35 or 29 again, again, again, again, again, and again!  Besides the fact that parts are sliding downhill(and fast!) and the hair on my head is requiring maintenance to keep it's colour what do I have to show for it?

Quite a lot actually.  So I want to come up with 35 things I am thankful for - before the big day!  Some are big and meaningful (my family) and some will be trivial but fun(hello - chocolate!)

I feel that many people spend most of their time snarking off at people and about things rather than embracing and loving what they have.  Or perhaps we spend too much time thinking about the crappy things that happen rather than focusing on the happy, good, and joyful.

It could be the aging process that makes me reflect and think like this.  I am loving getting older - not the deep crevasse emerging on my forehead or the sagging tush but I do love the perspective and maturity it affords me.  Now some of that maturity comes hard fought and I can't say that I enjoyed earning it but having it as a life lesson is a blessing.

Before you think I've lost my personality - fear not!  I still think farts are funny, I laugh at rude jokes and say way too many inappropriate things to ever be considered truly mature or adult like.  I would still rather watch a sappy romantic comedy than a sweeping saga of breath taking cinema and given the choice between a fancy kangaroo burger and a big mac - the big mac would win every.freakin.time!

Join me in being thankful!

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Orange you glad I posted!

Super lame title - what's more lame?  I laughed at myself when I typed it.  Yeah.  I am that idiotic!

While on the H&M shop the BFF and we noticed the big spring trend - Orange!  Everything was orange, peach, coral or some combination of those.  It was everywhere.

The BFF looks great in peachy/orange tones.  I remarked that while I generally don't ask my man for fashion advice he didn't like me to wear orange.  He doesn't give a flying squirrel most the time about what I wear but since his only complaint ever was about the colour orange I don't own anything orange.  The BFF gave me a look that said, "What????"  It's not unusual for people to think that hubby never gets an opinion as I am loud - but don't fear - he tells me his opinion on a regular basis, and once 15 years ago he frowned upon orange.  He also once pointed out back fat...not that I remind him of that on a regular basis or anything.

There was a really cute orange sweater though.  I announced with bravado - I am going to try this sweater on.  It is cute, and will make me look great.  I could sense the greatness this orange sweater was going to bring me.  Who cares if hubs hates me in orange - what could he possibly know??

I pulled on the sweater and went to the mirror.  The BFF gave me a "Ugh" look.  Darn it!  The colour looked awful on me.  My complexion looked gray and sallow.  It was U-G-L-Y.  Bugger.  The BFF kindly told me that the sweater while great in shape looked hideous in that colour - at least on me.  All this time I thought hubs had an issue with the colour orange - turns out he noticed I looked like death when I wore it. Apparently he does know something about fashion.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Power Shop!

After the panic over my outdated and no longer age appropriate maternity clothes I grabbed the BFF and we hauled a car seat free car to downtown Van! I power shopped through H&M like a maniac.    So the late winter/early spring wardrobe was complete.  Alas spring and summer were around the corner.

Yesterday I squeezed my ever widening hips into an old pair of capri's - Did you know you can still get a muffin top when pregnant???  Yeah me either!  It was B-A-D!  Dropped my daughter at preschool and made an beeline for the local maternity shop.  I had limited time - but the shopper gene is strong in my family.  I came.  I conquered.  I torn through that store on a rampage.

There seems to be a concept that pregnant women want to wear clothing that is 'sweet'.  Bows around our necks, eyelets on the sleeves, lace to cover the ever expanding ta-tas.  I don't wear lavender lace tops when not pregnant and you won't find me wearing one when knocked up either.  Perhaps some women get soft and demure when with child unlike moi!  I am a sarcastic person on a good day let alone a nausea puffer fish pregnant day. Soft pretty blue florals make me want to hurl - which without my diclectin could happen at any moment.  The other big trend - maxi dresses.  Yuck!  These are the most hideous things ever to be made unless you are a size 2.  When you drape a pregnant woman in a large dress you get a tent.  A hovering tent with a head attached.  It is awful.  They look awful - and sorry ladies but you look as huge as a house in them.  Make it in soft purple and add a cute bow to divide boobs from belly - you have the maternity trifecta - pastel, bow, and tent like.  Gah!

After I hissed like something out of a horror movie at a maxi dress the sale clerk threw some holy water at me and left me to my try-on session.  25 minutes after I stormed through the doors on a mission, I was marching out with a bag full of items that were not lilac, adorned with bows, or covered in lace.  Happy day!



Thursday, April 19, 2012

The importance of getting off your butt and to the polls today!

Today is election day in my provincial riding.  Our riding is having a by-election, there will be another provincial election in a little over a year.  A recent poll by a local radio station asked on Facebook if people were going to vote - the first response was from a woman that pronounced(proudly) she was not.  I wanted to punch her, what an idiot.  I vote...in every election.

Here's why :

1.  I live in a democratic country where I have the right to vote.  This is a no brainer.  Have you looked at the news lately??  People are starving, being hurt, and denied things I consider basic rights and freedoms.  It's an insult to take the freedoms I have for granted.

2.  I got girl parts.  How does that relate to voting??  Have you watched Mary Poppins?  There's a whole song of Suffrage.  "VOTES FOR WOMEN!" is the main battle cry.  It hasn't even been 100 years since those of the female persuasion where granted this right.  I think it's kind of a slap in the face to those that rallied, protested, and took up this cause.

3. I'm Caucasian. The colour of your skin used to matter for voting.  Did you know that First Nations people had to give up their status and treaty rights to vote until 1960??  WTH.

4.  It's interesting and not voting means not complaining!  There are some things about politics that leave me hurling over the side of the boat.  I can't stand glossed over politicians and the BS.  But - BUT the issues that being raised by them and brought into legislation are important.  What our elected representatives do is give people, as in EJ the stay at home mom, a voice to be heard.  I am not campaigning at my elected officials office about why we don't have scripture on our currency(I kid you not that has happened in my riding).  I do pick who I vote for based on what I think our riding, and in this case, the province needs.  As for the complaining part - if you don't lift a finger to research the issues - even a little bit I expect you to shut your mouth and smile when things are not going so well.  Don't suddenly call down the parties or the MLA/MP that you didn't take the effort to elect.

So today - get off you butt and walk on down to the poling station.  The local newspapers have online editions where you can research some basic info about the issues.  See you at the polls!

Monday, April 16, 2012

Fashionista! Part 1

As part of the carry a baby for 9 months gig - I also get to expand for 9 months.  Unless you are a freak that means you need to invest in clothes that fit - either bigger sizes or maternity.

Being as I've already carried and brought forth two angelic blessings {that are currently sleeping so I think they are beyond amazing :) } I have several Rubbermaid bins that are full of maternity wear.

I have always bought lots of clothes because I was working - needed work clothes and regular clothes.  This time I am rocking the whole stay at home job.  So no cute sweater sets and crisply pleated pants needed.

I eagerly yanked open my bins 1 - because holy heck regular pants are going to cut me & my avocado size baby in half and 2 - I had a good relationship with my maternity wear(I never bought or wore anything I hated previously)

My friends - HOW THINGS HAVE CHANGED!  Pants are not wide enough to put a small child in the calf area anymore.  Shirts also need to cover you tummy - not stop at your belly button.  What happened in those bins??  Did the 'shrink it' fairy come and destroy my clothes?

In the 5 & 7 years since my last two babies, style has changed - it shouldn't surprise me as I don't have anything in my closet from 5 years ago.  As an added bonus I have also aged - what a kick in the head that realization is!  At 27 with my first baby I wore - get ready for it - camo print cargo pants.  Gah!  First off at 35 I look like a moron in camo, secondly I may be a few pounds heavier now so while I could get them on - camo should never look like shrink wrap!  Even my ever loving saint of a hubby shook his head with "no" at the sight.  At least he didn't run from the room and puke.  Which is what I almost did when I tried on my pink striped capris.  Why why why did I think putting stripes on my spreading wider by the minute hips and butt would be a good idea????  Never adorn your butt with pattern!!!  NO!  Do not accent the bum!  Barf!

To get over this demeaning look at clothes from the past I had to go eat cake - it's my craving of choice.  Cake cake cake - which could explain the expanding bum!

Up next: Part 2

In a complete mind numbing panic I began a search of the Internet only to discover that my two favourite maternity lines were now only in the USA.  Cue my complete meltdown call to one of my BFF's & immediate shopping trip to H&M(which does carry maternity in their Pacific Center location)...

Thursday, April 12, 2012

What's New

You may have noticed I have been rather absent - or maybe you forgot all about this little ol' blog - whatever.  I prefer to think you've missed me.

So what's new around here?

I'm knocked up. Can I call it that if I am married and on my now third kid?  Anyway - I am with child - and I am not a glowing example of pregnancy.

Some people glow - I barf.  Some people look like they've swallowed a basketball - I look like a puffer fish.  It's not a pretty time ;)

We are excited, and freaked out.  We did not 'plan' on adding anymore people to the family.  Another dog, maybe a fish, sure but another human - not so much.

I WILL HAVE TO BUY A VAN!!!!!!!

Oh the horror!

I will be 35 when this child is born - I can only imagine the wrinkles I will have from the late night feedings, potty training, and terrible two's.  Gah!

But newborn baby smell - sigh!  Delicious!  Little cute booties and searching pinterest for the nursery I will never have time to decorate - yeah baby!

So in recap I have spent the last few months nauseous, in bed, and getting fat.  What have you been up to?

Monday, February 13, 2012

A little dinner conversation

***Typed this up a few weeks ago and forgot to publish -  oops!

Try as I might - dinner conversation in this household often involves topics that I wish weren't up for discussion.  Not because it really bothers me but because if my kids talk like that at someone else's house - hello embarrassment!!  It's all about not being embarrassed when you go out in public!

If you are from around these parts you'll be aware that we have had a big winter storm.  We have rain in winter not snow and ice.  This week we got snow snow snow and now freezing rain.  We are not equipped for such things.  We live in gortex and gum boots not down jackets and touques.

I have been feeling a little under the weather, and perhaps a little cabin feverish soooooo I may have not gotten out of my pj's today.  I spent most of the day lying in bed sleeping or reading a book.  This was snow day #4 with the kids home so we've done every craft, read every book.  We are so sick of seeing each other.  Movies and quiet time away from each other was top priority.  Other than one grocery run we have not left home in almost a week.

So back to dinner.  I am sitting at the table eating dinner.  The kids have eaten and abondoned their dishes. Missy come over to talk to me and notices fo the first time that I am still rocking the pj's.

Missy: Mum, you are still wearing you jammies!
Me: Yup
Missy: You should get dressed.
Me: No point Missy.  It's a snowday and we're not leaving the house.
Missy:You NEED to get dressed
Me: I will tomorrow.
Hubs: Mom has a stinky bum
After closing my gaping mouth I reply: I will have you know my bum smells fabulous
Dude (who is playing mini hockey in the family room) yells: Mum's bum smells like poo.  (He then proceeds to collapse in a fit giggles)
Missy: Poo poo poo poo mummy smells like poo

I slam my head repeatably into the table!  Then I slide a glance over at hubby who is doing his best not to laugh - I am not sure what made him giggle - Dude's sudden jump into our conversation or my insistance that my bum smells fabulous(which it is does just for the record).  I gave him the 'wife' look that said - 'You started this and I will throw you under the bus if they ever do this in public'

Proud mothering moments right here folks - makes you want to go and breed doesn't it?!?!?!