Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Oh Christmas Tree

The smell, the sight, the pure gloriousness of a fresh Christmas tree sitting in my living room.

Bliss!

Until my peace and tranquility was trashed, wrecked, and destroyed by...a buzz.

There should be a warning on fresh trees - 'may be home to critters' of the eight legged and wing variety!  Spiders have been coming home from the farm with us for years.  This year we brought home a little something extra!

While studying I heard a buzz.  The kind of buzz that comes from a bug with wings.  I.HATE.BUGS!  My family can attest to my voilent shrieks, and arm flailing spectacles I perform all summer long to their embarrassment.

Winter although cold, wet, and dark has a few bonuses like no bugs - and less leg shaving!!

I could hear that little bugger darting from tree to window yet I maintained my composure and kept studying.  Then I sat down to email and the little $*#!%*@&% had the nerve to try and kiss my neck.  That does not fly with me - no pun intended.  I let out a shriek, and flapped my arms like bird - it wasn't pretty.

Hubs came to check on me - please note he sauntered in no particular hurry to my screams of distress.  Then proceeded to point out that it probably had long antena and could even be in my hair.

My response to him was direct and not very polite - nor was it safe for young or blog ears.

He decided to sit on the couch as I worked on this blog post, rolling his eyes at me.  In all fairness after the antena thing I was checking my pant legs, hair and bra for any friends that may have dropped in for a visit.  I thought the bug was black - at least that was what I gathered during my chicken flap dance - and most things in my living room are black - hello camouflage!  I move on from my bra check to the lamp, chair and computer - all things near me - phew all clear.

I begin to blog again and banter back and forth with hubs about this bug.  That little jerk(the bug not hubs) must have known we were talking about him because he suddenly flies out from the lamp and hovers in front of my face.

I freak, nearly tip over my chair in my hasty get away.  Hubs sits and watches.  I back up through the dinning room doorway - hubs calmly asks me where I think it went?

WHERE IT WENT?  HOW WOULD I KNOW!  KILL IT! KILL IT NOW!!!!

I creep back into the room and it flies up from the carpet - I am outta here.  I run to the kitchen and close the glass door so I can see hub flailing his arms like a circus freak trying to kill it.

It dies from a slipper attack and before being licked by the dog I snapped a picture!  Ewww - followed by a full body shiver!
This 'thing' had the nerve to come over for Christmas uninvited!  Consider yourself warned!

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