Thursday, November 24, 2011

Day 24 - Christmas Slippers

I hate cold feet.

My hubby hates when I have cold feet.

His legs are so nice and warm - just perfect for my ice cold toes to warm up on.

He does not not share my opinion.

In an effort to save our marriage I have acquired a large collection of slippers over my lifetime almost all as Christmas gifts.  None of them sexy.  I am currently rocking these in brown.  Cute in the photo but mine aren't so cute anymore.  I kill slippers.  My mother had one pair in the same time I had 4.  Seriously!

For 11 months I have worn these slippers so the fleece lining is rubbed bare in places and the rubber sole is smooth.  I wasn't worried about any of that.  What is concerning is in the last month a decidedly foul aroma has begun emitting from the slippers.

I don't usually stink up shoes.  The odd ballet flat worn for 8 hours in the summer with bare feet might get a little on the rank side but I have never suffered from gag inducing foot stink in any shoes or slippers.  I leave the stinking to hubs and Dude - boys stink - it's a known fact.

The slippers don't stink on their own...too badly.  If they are sitting by the door you aren't knocked over from the smell.  From a distance you won't be offended.  But - or should I say BUT do.not.ever shove your nose all up close and personal in them.  After coming to you'd probably have damaged nasal cavities and a killer headache.  The other thing you do not want me to do is wear them for a bit and then break the seal between the bottom of my foot and the slipper.  It is a weapon of mass destruction.  It will knock you flat.

Last night hubs tried to blame me for his sudden gag fest on the couch - turned out it was a SBD/SBV* from the dog.  You know you are in a category all your own when a dog fart delivers the same side effects.

I am going to continue to blame the dog from now on.  After all, I am a girl - we don't stink.  We are all dainty and pretty.  We do not fart, we do not burp, and we certainly don't have stinky shoes.

*Silent But Deadly/Silent But Violent

No comments:

Post a Comment