Tomorrow is the anniversary of my professional and personal life getting a beat down. I don't mean a slight hiccup. We're talking kick in the groin, baseball bat to the side of the head, and a hammer to the thumb all in one shot.
It was without a doubt the most painful year in all my 30+ years.
This is what I've learned :
1. Good friends are hard to find. I have thrown out the trash so to speak. I have cleaned house. I've taken a pretty hard stance with some things and if those lines are crossed I walk away. No more drama - but pretentious idiots - see ya! Selfish users - don't let the door hit you on the way out! Bu-bye! Now I am left with a great group of friends - and I love them all dearly. I even have time to spend with them, when I am not doing the whole - wife, mother, superwoman routine that is ;)
2. Revenge is for Bruce Willis movies - not my life. I could have sued. In fact it was recommended that I sue them and the horse they rode in on. And a small imperfect part of me would like nothing more than to see those suckers on the stand trying to justify their behavior. Even better if they jab them with a hot poker first. Like I said - the imperfect part. The beauty of not seeking revenge is that by stepping off the path I leave room for God to deal with them - Romans 12:19, Proverbs 20:22, Proverbs 24:29, Romans 12:17. As he can deal with me and my heart that continues to struggle to forgive.
3. I am fabulous! I know - so modest. Perhaps it is this thing called aging or maybe I am maturing - gasp! But after a jump into the pool of depression I realized that if I can't love me and think I am freakin - fab-u-lous why the heck would anybody else? I am okay - just as I am. Those that don't like it - no worries - you don't have to like me (I know - the revelations just keep coming!) I am just lovely with or without your approval of my hair, weight, lifestyle, parenting skills etc etc etc!
4. Food is my drug. I ate my way through my depression. Isn't life always better from inside the bag of chips??? So now I got a
I've learned a lot of other things too - like how to give the evil eye across the Starbucks(imperfect part again) and still have a normal conversation with the people sitting across from me. I have also learned I am a heck of a lot stronger than I ever thought. I have sat in the ruins and while I still have a bit of debris in my hair I am getting up and walking on!