Tuesday, September 13, 2011

One Year

525, 948 minutes = 8760 hours = 365 days = 1 year

Tomorrow is the anniversary of my professional and personal life getting a beat down.  I don't mean a slight hiccup.  We're talking kick in the groin, baseball bat to the side of the head, and a hammer to the thumb all in one shot.

It was without a doubt the most painful year in all my 30+ years.

This is what I've learned :

1.  Good friends are hard to find.  I have thrown out the trash so to speak.  I have cleaned house.  I've taken a pretty hard stance with some things and if those lines are crossed I walk away.  No more drama - but pretentious idiots - see ya!  Selfish users - don't let the door hit you on the way out! Bu-bye!  Now I am left with a great group of friends - and I love them all dearly.  I even have time to spend with them, when I am not doing the whole - wife, mother, superwoman routine that is ;)

2.  Revenge is for Bruce Willis movies - not my life.  I could have sued.  In fact it was recommended that I sue them and the horse they rode in on.  And a small imperfect part of me would like nothing more than to see those suckers on the stand trying to justify their behavior.  Even better if they jab them with a hot poker first.  Like I said - the imperfect part.  The beauty of not seeking revenge is that by stepping off the path I leave room for God to deal with them - Romans 12:19, Proverbs 20:22, Proverbs 24:29 Romans 12:17.  As he can deal with me and my heart that continues to struggle to forgive.   

3.  I am fabulous!  I know - so modest.  Perhaps it is this thing called aging or maybe I am maturing - gasp!  But after a jump into the pool of depression I realized that if I can't love me and think I am freakin - fab-u-lous why the heck would anybody else?  I am okay - just as I am.  Those that don't like it - no worries - you don't have to like me (I know - the revelations just keep coming!)  I am just lovely with or without your approval of my hair, weight, lifestyle, parenting skills etc etc etc!

4. Food is my drug.  I ate my way through my depression.  Isn't life always better from inside the bag of chips???  So now I got a little lot of extra junk in the trunk.  I am okay with being more of a chunky monkey, but health wise I need to get back to the gym and out of the chip bag.  Just not close to - you  know - that time.  Lord save the person that tries to block me from a bag of chips then!

I've learned a lot of other things too - like how to give the evil eye across the Starbucks(imperfect part again) and still have a normal conversation with the people sitting across from me.  I have also learned I am a heck of a lot stronger than I ever thought.  I have sat in the ruins and while I still have a bit of debris in my hair I am getting up and walking on!

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